Let me be straight, I typically put maybe 10 percent effort into my dating life. In general, I’ve come to terms with not feeling ready to date or rather just wanting more relationships with people on a platonic level.
I’m not sure what to think and that’s not really helping in the mental health department. (However, I do feel pretty solid at the moment, so don’t be alarmed yet, mom and dad.)
It’s hard not knowing the next time I get to be around people. At least when I was giving minimal effort, I knew that I had multiple chances, specially with spring and summer coming up (patio weather!).
Now, we are seeing reports that this could be on and off until there’s a vaccine and vaccines apparently take a year or two to figure out! That seems excessive to me, but I also haven’t taken a science class since 2012, so…
I felt and do feel like I’m in a positive place in life. I had even scheduled a hair appointment before I left my last one like a good hair person does. I, of course, had to reschedule it because the entire world broke, but it felt good and adult-like.
Most of my life is still in place (I still have to go to work) and I wasn’t very active during the week anyway, but I just have no idea how to combat this. The thought of not being able to be around people is a tough one I’ve been ignoring.
When it gets rough and I feel like I need to redownload tinder, I usually focus on sports games or going home to my family for the weekend and here we are with none of that.
Oh, hey. It’s been months since day one, but I mean…
and now there’s coronavirus and even though I still have to go to work like normal, it felt like a good time for day two.
2. What does my best day look like?
I need trees, a blue sky, and sunshine—preferably warm weather as well, but I live in Minnesota, so I don’t stick with that one too closely. I need people, my people—family, friends, loved ones, and dogs are perfect.
However, I think my best days right now are me being happy throughout the entire day. What I listed up above is based off a lot of memories—things I know will happen again, but aren’t necessarily a winter ordeal.
So, I’ve had to adjust and after my mom repeatedly telling me to keep being positive and me repeatedly getting annoying, I’ve been finally trying to keep being positive. I’ve been trying to have more best days, but living alone, having few friends, and very little interaction in general (let’s be honest, the virus self-quarantine hasn’t changed too much of my daily life) creates some frustrating obstacles.
I’m getting better, specifically this week, which is why I think I’m sitting here writing this. For some unknown reason, things got a bit rough recently. Maybe it’s the unknown of what life will be like these next months or maybe I’m coming out of a darker phase. Either way, I have a little more hope that my best days will be coming along more often and in different ways.
Dare I say the sun is actually becoming a regular thing around here?!
There are actually 40 degree (F) days in the forecast. Minnesota usually gets a huge and gross blizzard in April, but until then, I’ll enjoy the brisk and windy, but sunny days outside—with my camera, of course.
Since I’m not always the most organized, I like to create these photo posts to not only look back at the time I wasn’t organized enough to post anything, but also to look back at the time like a scrapbook.
December was full of love and loss. My cousin got married (and I photographed it!), we lost my grandma (who made it home for Christmas in heaven with my grandpa), my Harry Potter obsession renewed with a delirious attempt at a 3D puzzle of Diagon Alley, and my older brother came up with a quirky Christmas card idea.
I’m emotionally exhausted to say the least, but feel fortunate for the joy and peace I found in December.
I sometimes forget fall is my favorite season. The colors and cooler weather are really something else. Too bad it can’t last just a little longer here in the midwest. Here are a few pictures of the leaves starting to change.
I took a sick day today (the first time ever still getting paid—yay adult job) and I took it for my mental health.
I definitely got more anxiety taking it because I felt like I wasn’t supposed to. Thankfully, my mom answered my 5:30am text and I was able to talk with her to calm down.
Mainly, I’m realizing I need to focus on time management. I love to be busy, but now being older with lots and lots of responsibilities, I occasionally cross the line of busy to overwhelmed.
So today is a day to relax and move very slowly. There are a few things I need to get done, but knowing I have all day is a comfort. It’s also nice knowing that in a couple weeks, my 13 hour days between work and coaching will be done. Two months of coaching is a wonderful way to get my fix (because I really do love it), but isn’t too long that I burn out. I was just silly this summer/fall and planned too many trips, but now I know to be more cautious (at least until I can afford therapy, but that’s a whole other post).
So anyway, take a deep breath and let’s get shit done.