It’s been almost two years since I decided/realized/accepted? that I had been and still was dealing with depression. And come 2020, I will still be depressed.
I don’t take medication (a personal decision I have made with the help of my momma—though we have set a line that if crossed, the decision will change) and I don’t go to therapy. The latter because that’s hella expensive and I still have so much student loan debt. However, therapy—specifically, the new tech-y, I can just text and email you whenever, kind—is on my list. I’m at a weird point in my life where I know I should make it work, but I’m also single and in debt and live by myself, ya know? But in some weird way, the fact that it’s on my list and my brain is opening up to the idea helps.
Speaking of what helps, this is a post about what helps. 😉
I’ve come to realized—no matter how much I don’t like it at times—that exercising is huge plus. For some reason, as I’m getting older, my body image is getting shakier. It’s not in the “I have to look good for guys” way, but more the “I want to look good for myself” way. I think most of us deal with that, but on my bad days, it’s like an extra trigger and I feel even more shitty about the unknown thing I already feel shitty about.
So that’s neat.
The next is pretty obvious if you follow this blog—photography (and creating anything, really). Moving to Saint Paul has given me loads of opportunities to get out and take pictures. It’s something I can do alone or with friends and it’s something that will always be available to do—that’s very reassuring. I’ve included a few of my favs from this weekend walk around the city.
My last thing (because let’s always do things in threes?) is having a goal. I’m writing a book and it’s the same one I started a few years ago before I accepted this depression thing. I think it’s the main thing that got me moving forward in the right direction, to be honest.
Writing a book kind of sucks a lot because my attention span is not really there, but the fact that I can see an end (and I’ve gotten a lot of views/feedback on that interesting site Wattpad for the first, unedited draft) is a motivating factor that someday (hopefully soon because I also lack patience) I can be a published author of multiple books. The goal is an attainable one (but also, dream big, let’s do this big time before I’m 30 please) and with it comes the slow, but steady journey into a positive mental health outlook.
I’ve been having more short, negative bursts lately, but when I can focus for two seconds, this list is what I focus on. It’s been pretty photography heavy, lately, but the editing is coming along and I now can run a mile without stopping!
So, all in all, goods things are there to help and they are, indeed, helping.
Don’t forget to check out my Instagram to see more fun photos!